after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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