I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
