glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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