The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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