If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize