I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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