At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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