Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
