I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Someone signed my nipple.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
