oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Shame - the story of my life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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