What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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