is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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