The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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