your thong is hanging out like whoa
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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