im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize