Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
