Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
