why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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