I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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