My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
