I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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