I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
