dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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