We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
