I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
