I wish I could punch you in the face.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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