Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize