I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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