No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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