return my video game
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
