tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
