he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You ate ashes out of my bong
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize