absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
