it was like his penis was on wheels.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
