the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
