but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
