K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
