is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
