That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your dad touched me again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
In America we eat man semen.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
