so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
two words...techno handjob
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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