Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
