I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
