She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
