where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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