the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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