You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
