im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
