You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
