if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
