i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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