It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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