"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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