Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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