Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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