so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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