Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it because I queefed?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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