I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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