That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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