I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
