I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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