no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
