I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
