I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
