We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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