Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
