well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize