Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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